Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Monday, June 26, 2006
Friday, June 23, 2006
Sex Machines
The recent "4 meme", our buddy,Ah Pek the old monkey have a few gadgets he wud like to lay his hand on. Since he got his own DIY store,I come up with some videos to give him some inspirations building those gadgets by himself.Ah Pek,this one specially for u
Check It Out...
Apa maciam? Can build the licking machine for me ar?
Original Sin Sex Scene
This one abit classic but it's a tribute to all the Angelina's fans out there. Makahai,tat Antonio Banderas "chap dou" lo,his Wife punya muka really tak boleh but on set can screw Angelina.English Football Bloopers
I'm not much into football but this is something that wud certainly make it worth to watch.Thursday, June 22, 2006
The Amazing 911 Facts
1) New York City has 11 letters2) Afghanistan has 11 letters.
3) Ramsin Yuseb (The terrorist who threatened to destroy the Twin Towers in 1993) has 11 letters.
4) George W Bush has 11 letters.
This could be a mere coincidence, but this gets more interesting:
1) New York is the 11th state.
2) The first plane crashing against the Twin Towers was flight number11.
3) Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers. 9 + 2 = 11
4) Flight 77 which also hit Twin Towers, was carrying 65 passengers.6+5 = 11
5) The tragedy was on September 11, or 9/11 as it is now known. 9 + 1+ 1 = 11
6) The date is equal to the US emergency services telephone number911. 9 + 1 + 1 = 11.
Sheer coincidence..?! Read on and make up your own mind:
1) The total number of victims inside all the hi-jacked planes was254. 2 + 5 + 4 = 11.
2) September 11 is day number 254 of the calendar year. Again 2 + 5 + 4= 11.
3) The Madrid bombing took place on 3/11/2004. 3 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 4 = 11.
4) The tragedy of Madrid happened 911 days after the Twin Towersincident.
Now this is where things get totally eerie:The most recognised symbol for the US, after the Stars & Stripes, isthe Eagle. The following verse is taken from the Quran, the Islamicholy book:
"For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle.The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah and lo,while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced: forthe wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah and there waspeace."
That verse is number 9.11 of the Quran.
Still uncovinced about all of this..?! Try this and see how you feelafterwards, it made my hair stand on end:Open Microsoft Word and do the following:
1. Type in capitals Q33 NY. This is the flight number of the firstplane to hit one of the Twin Towers.
2. Highlight the Q33 NY.
3. Change the font size to 48.
4. Change the actual font to the WINGDINGS
Wooalaaa.....
911
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
My Virgin Meme
Wuaah,everytime i enjoy seeing people doin meme. Some funny, some damn funny and some damn 9 lan funny. Tapi sekalang,my turn pulak kena cos AhPek tag 9 me,not enuff, Pisang oso tag me. Ai...4 jobs that I would really stink at:
Aqua- 'cos I'm a real man.
Gay Lou - 'cos I prefer miao miao more than arsehole
Gigolo- 'cos I dun do it for money
PR - 'cos I dun like foreplay,wanna get into action immediately.
4 nicknames I made for meself.
Sotongking- 'cos it sounds like setokin
Blursotong- 'cos it's the english yersion of "mang tau wu ying"
Toroking- 'cos it's the yupunese yersion of "Sotongking"
Sotong- it's the short yersion of everything la...
diuz...where got so many nicknames
4 movies I can watch over and over again.
Ham tais onli-the rest watch 1 time fed up liao
4 alcoholic drinks I enjoy
Long Island
Illusion
Absolute Vodka-with Ribena?
Chivas
4 destinations I want to go before I go sell salted eggs.
Rumah Urut Kiew Kiew-wanna try out the dola dola full body massage
Nudist Colony-wanna see if my KKC can stnd up 24/7
Haadyai-i heard they can do wonders with their miao miao
Pulau Ketam-wuah...manyak ketam sana la
4 thing I do on weekends
TFK-tis one everyday la
ML-tis one oso everyday
Watch Movies-tis one oso everyday
Swimming-'cos the pool got lotsa lengluis in bikini
4 Celebrities I want to screw.
Latetia Casta
Shakira
Heather Graham
Angelina Jolie
4 Gadgets I would like to have.
Artificial Pussy-tis one veli portable,travel oso can bring along
Blow-up Ms.Bunny-tis one can give blow job
Licking Machine-tired la havta to stick the tongue out
Gigantic Dildo-after i kautim i wanna sleep liao,tis 1 let her kautim herself
4 Tags to the new bloggers.
No one to tag la...semua sodah kena
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Job Application
This is an actual job application that a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald’s restaurant in Florida; and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!NAME: Greg Bulmash.
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I’m worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and ‘post-it’ notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
AVAILABLE FOR WORK: Of course. That’s why I’m applying.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30 – 3:30pm., Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50lbs?: 50lbs. of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be the winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job, no, on my breaks, yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb blond supermodel who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
Friday, June 09, 2006
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Bizarre News
KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia - It seems that love knows no age fora 33-year-old man who recently tied the knot with his 104-
year-old bride. Muhamed Noor Che Musa said he found peace
and a sense of belonging after meeting Wook Kundor. "I am
not after her money, as she is poor," Muhamad reportedly
said. The marriage marks the first for Muhamed, and the 21st
for his wife. He said he hoped to help his new bride to
master Roman script while she taught him Islamic religious
knowledge. It was not said, however, if any of Wook's
previous 20 husbands are still alive. Although it's common
for Malaysian Muslim men to take up to four wives at a time,
it's rare for a woman to marry more than once.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Poland's Barber Shop
In Poland got this barber shop where the women only dress in lingeries. MCH! I wish Malaysia got this kind of barber shop. That way, not only will I cut my hair, I will cut my bulu-bulus also.Come in for a Cut
U like lingerie?
Wanna see me squat?
How's my boobs?
OMG!
Tammy Letter to Ah Beng
I know this topic is abit outdated but it's so freakin' funny.Dear Ah Beng,
I am a poly student and the other day I lost my handphone. Suay-suay, hor, my handphone got this steamy video I shot of me and my boyfriend doing each other. Then some nao hiah must have picked it up and uploaded it, because now the bleddy thing is everywhere! Now I damn lao kwee, go to school got so many people say me. Even police say that maybe I can kena charge for producing an obscene video. How?
Spammy NYP
Dear Spammy,
Dun worry. You ask the right person. When it comes to distributing illegal obscene videos, we at the Chap Sar Tiam Secret Society are the espert.
We can find out who this nao hiah is who sabo you, and make him perform his own sex video, probably with a rottweiler.
Then we can sell DVDs of him at every bus interchange titled ‘the Chronicles of Nao Hiah”. Fair, mah.
As for people saying you, this one is boh pian eh. Maybe you want to consider changing school? Heck care the poly! Come to a university!
Specifically, Hoot U, the Geylang-based uni for bengs and lians, where I am a professor.
You look like you would qualify for a scholarship in our Faculty of Orh Kwee Keng studies. For outstanding students, we offer a direct M.BA. (Master of Bating) advanced degree.
Just come to our main campus at no. 6969 Geylang Lorong 69 so we can see your c.b.
Sorry, sorry, I mean, your c.v.
(Your c.b. we all see oreddy.)
As for the police, I dun think you will kena charge just because you made video of sex. Having sex is normal one, what.
Eh? Chope, chope, chope. This is Singapore, where you can kena charge for just walking around naked in your own flat, so maybe you will kena charge after all. Sorry.
But dun worry, we at Hoot U will not hold having a criminal conviction against you. In fact, if you have, it’s considered ECA points: extra criminal activity points.
See you soon hor,
AH BENG